More Dancing

This last winter I have really been off my game. I have not been to my belly dancing class as much and I have not had time to surf.

This last Monday I went back to class. It was just what I needed. The last few months have been so depressing for me. I have not wanted to whine about it and I even missed a few blogs, because I couldn't find anything good to write about.

This week, after my class I found the inspiration for my next dance. It feels so good to see it all come together. I rediscovered a song I had loved before and now I am totally obsessed by it. It helps to be passionate about what you are doing.

There is a band I like and they always are so jubilant when they start their albums. Every time they come out with a new CD, the first song and they are dropping bombs and are so happy. It is just sheer joy and I listen to them a lot when I am going to the beach and I have my board with me. It makes me feel like I can do anything.

It has not been easy with suddenly being unemployed and feeling as if I don't have anything really important to do. Dancing is not going to save me, I am too old to be a professional dancer now. It just helps to get the blood flowing and help me think of my next performance. It also helps the think there are good things still left to accomplish.

Wishes

It has been said to be careful what you wish for. For years I wanted to be able to work at home and do my writing. I was able to do that, its just not that easy.

Its so difficult to keep my mind on what I need to do every day. I have my dogs and my chickens, I could spent time playing with the dogs. There is always something on TV and oh yes, I am in front of the computer with the Internet and I could spent loads of time on You Tube or whatever.

I could journal or do 'research' otherwise known as window shopping on the Internet on subjects and clothes that find my fancy. Since I am the only one that knows how much I really work, its so easy to mess around. In my recent tweets I keep talking about doing my paper work, just as a way of being accountable to some one. See I'm really working hard, and if I wasn't I would have the time stamp to show just how long ago I said something about working hard.

Is it the freedom that I wanted or just to stay home? A little of both. Its nice not to be in my old office and smell like smoke when I come home. (My old boss was a heavy smoker.) It is nice to go to the kitchen for lunch and pull out left overs. Its nice to pet my dogs and take a break with them.

In the end its not bad, as long as I don't run to the store everyday and I don't go visit friends that are moms and at home. Trips to the book store are kept to a just a few and the mall is forbidden except on weekends. That one I keep very well, I know the damage I can do in one day and I go when I have permission.

As for my exercise, I can clear the living room of dogs and turn on a belly dance DVD. That and a good breakfast get me going, once I get done dancing I can really get to work. So far I have been able to get things done, that's a plus.

Keeping it up

The last few weeks, ok, the last month we have been taking down all the old items in my old place of work. I am now unemployed and I have to say I have been very depressed.

In this mode I have to some how find the motivation to be upbeat and present myself well in a job interview. Now, when I have been at my lowest I have to think about where to go, what to do and not just sit on the sofa and drink wine at 10 am. Its not easy. I have to say I do just want to sleep all day.

What do you do about it? Try going back to the gym, at least work out some of the stress. As you work out, even if its just taking the dogs for a brisk walk, it can help to clear your head. As you walk and get some fresh air you start to think about other possibilities. Sitting and watching TV does nothing to inspire you. If you go to the park or to the beach and just take some time to think, you can come up with one idea, at least.

Also just get out that old exercise DVD, we all have at least one, and use it. Get the blood back to your brain and see if it helps. Maybe list all the things you are good at, "Today this is what I like about me:" and write it down. Can you at least cook a good meal? That is an everyday need and it feels good. Did you help a friend in the last week? That was a good thing. Yes we all feel blue, that's why its call a "Depression" and yes we may need to have a 'good-cry'. That's normal, and fine. After you have had it out, watched a sad film, move on. Keep up your good eating habits, take a walk and get back out there. It will only feel better if you keep it up.

Rainy days

Okay we are still in winter and the ground hog says six more weeks. Great what can we do now?

After this rain we currently have, I will be planting my tulips for spring. the ground should be nice and soft and still a bit damp. There is a Vintage Expo I am going to with my girlfriends tomorrow and that should be fun.

Still keeping up with my dancing which will help me be lighter on my board when I take it out next. There are so many things to be done before the weather drys up. Why not take time to clean out a cupboard to freshen up your linens?

I need to wash my dogs, but I will wait till the rain is done. Other wise they will be nice and clean just to go out in the rain and get muddy again. Other things to do while indoors, arts and crafts. Get out some poster paint and let the kids go to town with finger painting. It washes off and they can get their energy out in a fun way and not by running around the house chasing each other.

For those of us with out kids, it maybe a good time to do some scrap booking or other projects. I say all this since I have been blue and have been trying to find some thing nice and fun to do, so I don't go crazy. I really want to be out on my board and relaxing. I have had too much stress and I need a vacation, I had really wanted to go to a writers conference but didn't have the money. There is nothing like reading a good book it all else fails.