Back In

I am so glad I have been able to go to the beach two weeks in a row. It makes me feel like myself again.

I have thought of the ocean as an old friend and I needed to go pay a visit. When I don't get to go off by myself I get really irritated. My goals are to keep things nice and quite and I spend a lot of energy trying to get things that way.

I walk my dogs so they will be quite at home. I feed my chickens and they get quite. All in an effort to relax and enjoy my home. The things that break that up, like my neighbors that yell at 7 am really get my goat. I have no idea how they can get that made and be screaming on the top of their lungs that early. I'm still walking around with my cup of coffee.

When I get a chance to go to the beach and swim, it helps me cope with the other stresses in my life. At work and at home. I get a chance to calm down and get some peace of mind. I don't need to smoke anything or take pills, just a few hours at the beach does it for me. I drive home happy and sometimes get the car up to 80 just for fun. When I get home the feeling stays with me and I'm just so happy.

Last weekend was bad at my work, but it didn't get to me like it has other times. I can just replay the day before and feel happy again. I have been indoors way too long and getting out in the sun felt so good yesterday. I will keep that feeling with me today as well.

Work

Being on my feet at work has helped me lose some of the weight I gained over the summer. It does however make my feet ache too much.

There is exercise and there is pain. I have no need for the pain. The best is dancing and working out my stress. Yesterday while I cooked I stopped every once in a while to dance to a good song on Pandora.

I found a video on Youtube of army men dancing to "Electric Avenue". It was so funny that they were keeping up their spirits up in Iraq by dancing. It was the last thing I would have thought of.

Even now as I write this my feet ache. I am so tired of that. Its like when you are tired but want to go out. I still want to dance, and my feet are so tired.

There are a lot of things I don't want to do and have to. Like working on Black Friday, which was hell. I was so tired afterwards, I was hearing things. It was no fun. Next will be the same, at least I have this weekend off. And I just might go out and dance.

Recovery

Since my surgery this last summer I have been unable to get back on my board. Its still my goal to get back out there.

Surfing has been helpful for me to calm down and deal with all that I have to do. Its my time to myself and time to recharge. Looking into the ocean and letting the water keep you up is such a fun and relaxing feeling.

I'm still land locked for now and I walk my dogs and keep busy. While I don't like my job, at least I have been off my feet and lost some of the weight I had gained while in recovery.

Last night I saw some truly inspiring performances and it makes me want to get out there and dance and perform again. I haven't been able to do my belly dancing since I have to work most Sunday nights, the time I used to perform. I will find a way to get back out there.

I do need to get back to all the things I love, the things that make me feel good about myself. If I don't I'll go crazy. The job moral is low and the work offers have not been coming in. The thought of going into the xmas season in retail is depressing. Yes, I'm grateful I have work, its just really hard on my feet.

The things that have helped is my weekly visits to get a massage and my own foot creams. If it not for the cooling peppermint creams, forget it I would be in so much pain.

Having some time alone helps as well. Since as I get older the more I find, I really don't like people. A few, but I really want to be home with my dogs and chickens and reading. The road of recovery has not been easy, but its coming to an end. Soon I will be back out on my board. :-)

Land Locked

After I have had my surgery I have not been able to go out surfing. It has been hard to be land locked for such a long time. Another reason I can't live too far inland.

In the meantime I have had to keep active by walking my dogs. They have been happy for it and when they see me put on my sneakers they start to jump up and get ready for a walk.

It helps me feel better and relive some stress. I can't really stand to look at the surf reports right, since it will make me miss it more. If I have the energy I would like to do more of my belly dancing, at least at home.

The rest of the time I am on my feet and they ache quite a bit. Another reason for me to find another job and quickly.

What can I do? Just keep up my routine and find a way to get back on my board, which always makes me feel good.

Walking

I'm still not out of the woods as far as my recovery. After talking to my Dr, I know I can't got back out surfing just yet.

In the mean time, while on dry land I keep walking my dogs as much as I can. My job also has me on my feet. It has helped me to start losing some of the weight I put on while I was resting.

I never thought I was the type to have a hard time slowing down. It really has been hard on me to relax. Now that I am back at work I feel better that I am productive. Its nice to have a paycheck again and all.

On the days I have off or on the days I still need to rest. I have to give that to myself and stop pushing myself to do more. It is easier said than done.

For now its just walking with my dogs and taking care of the chickens. :-)

Surf's Up

I won't be able to say that for a while. I had my surgery and everything went well. I am still recuperating and its not fun. Mostly finishing up years of reading and watching TV.

Not that I am only laying around. The little exercise I can do is walking. I have been walking my oldest and slowest dog Gwennie around my street. She loves it and has so much more energy when we are done. The rest of the day she is peppy. I am happy to have her as my walking buddy right now.

The rest of the summer I will be able to resume some if not all of my normal activities. Though I will get tired easily. I'm not sure going back out on my board will be a good idea, not until the fall. I don't need to be tired and out in the water just to go under. I have been getting tired walking around the OC fair and South Coast Plaza.

I did go to the beach and get in the water the day before my procedure. Which I have still not told most people what it was. There have been some wild guesses, my foot was one. Since I don't have a cast or my foot isn't bound up, then guess again. It's not that I want to be sneaky or lie about it. Its just none of any one's business. People need to learn, that No, I don't have to tell every one what's going on and No I don't want to talk about it.

As it is, things are healing well and my Dr's are happy with my progress. The summer and surf will go on without me there. That's ok, I will be out there again. When the surf is up!

Get out

At times we need to just get out there and walk the dogs, or get the board down and go to the beach.

Since it is summer people want to surf, its not the best surf here in SoCal while it is this time of year. I do want to get back out there and get my board wet, I will have to wait. I still have some medical issues I need to take care of.

In the mean time I have been walking my dogs when I can and doing my belly dancing. It helps, but its not as fun as getting in the water.

To fill the void and get out of the house I have been going to LACMA and other museums to see art and get inspired. I have felt that I end up saying the same things over and over. I try very hard not to do that.

At a recent exhibit I saw that an artist had pretty much the same style from the begging. All of their work had the same look to it. Instead of saying "All this stuff looks a like" the statement seemed to be "this artist has a clear and central theme they have stayed true to", at least that's what I got out of it. The feeling I had when I left was one of hope, that if I stick to my own vision I will be successful.

The next time I get out into the water, I will have to remind myself of that idea.