Pirates

In following my passions I end up going back to dancing. There was a belly-dancing event this past weekend that I attended. It was held in Glendale. Some that live on Orange County don’t like to drive too far for events. I have no idea why. I don’t mind the travel time and I don’t complain about traffic. I mean at least I got to get out of the house, it was worth it.

One of the things I like about doing belly dancing is that it’s an excuse to dress up. Like most girls I liked to dress up when I was younger. There are not many opportunities to do so as an adult. There are the occasional costume parties, but outside of that, nothing.

This weekend I was able to get more outfits for my dancing and one of them was my sword for balancing on my head. There is also a cane for dancing and a feather for my hair. With all that, my living room looks like a group of Pirates were there and left some of their booty behind. I feel like I am giving Captain Jack Sparrow a run for his money. I guess I would need some thigh high boots for that. Not a bad idea, that.

I don’t ever want to lose my sense of adventure and wonder of this world. I have a lot of travel I still want to do and many places I want to see and experience. When we think of pirates, we don’t think of them so much as the criminals they were. We think of getting out on the ocean and going wherever the wind takes us.

Of course with the passing of time, anything can sound romantic and we sort of like that. The truth was it was a difficult existence. Much like modern pirates, I have a friend who was an engineer on cargo ships, his biggest fear was pirates. There has been a lot on the news of pirates in Africa.

Real fears notwithstanding, the pirates that live in our heads are fun. They represent adventure and wanderlust, bucking the system and striking out on our own. For that reason alone we keep them in works of film, books and in our imagination.

If that is what it takes to keep our spirits high and sense of adventure alive then isn’t that a help? So to the pirates that lives on in my head, “Have some more grog and let’s set sail!” Aye, Aye.

Float

For fishing we need floats. This last Sunday with the heat it was great to have a root beer float. The body float, which is why you should not panic in the water. If you relax your body, it will float to the top. Like a rubber ducky or a bar of soap.

I love lying on my board and floating for a minute after paddling out. There is something so peaceful about it. I love looking up and down the coast and the grey clouds above. A lot of people only like to see the ocean when it is clear sky’s but that’s when all the tourist are around. I hate that summer is coming and I will have to share my ocean with way too many people.

Today is cloudy and I would love to be on my board right now and smell the ocean in my noise and well taste it as well. Not a lot, just a bit, I haven’t been out and it’s making me edgy.

The ocean is so much a part of my life. Its’ like a friend I haven’t seen in a while and I miss them terribly. In real life I have had some problems with my friends. I think they should be over it, but they are not. The some with others I am not over it. In all we can’t rush each other. The ocean can slap you if you don’t respect it well enough. I have to be respecting of others and leave them alone, if they need more time they can have it.

It’s difficult and sometimes all the “I’m sorry” in the world don’t make it better. Even if people say they accept your apology sometimes they really don’t. Sure you can tell since they stop calling and don’t so much as text message you, “How are you doing?”

I know I get obsessive and I want to talk to people all the time. While I let others heal I am in withdrawal of communication. The bad part is that I said I would leave them alone. This means I can’t even tell them how much I miss them and hope they are okay.

With other friends they are always there, and while I am getting over things, they are the ones that hurt me and I can’t talk to them about them. What to do?

When things get this stressed I just want to run away. I want to be a child and cry and say it’s not fair, and throw a temper tantrum. Of course that would not help anything and so I don’t do that. Instead I get up on a cloudy day really early, strap on my board and go visit another friend. The one that tells me its okay to just float for a while and it will be okay.

Past due

I can say that so far 2009 is not great. It’s only April and with the economy where it is, yeah, not a great year. The idea of bills being past due is on everyone’s mind. Taxes where due the other day and if you didn’t get them done, they are now past due. In the last few months we have seen our friends lose their jobs and people are losing their homes, not great.

My dogs have been waiting to go to the groomers. They were able to go yesterday. They look forward to it and look great afterwards, and they know it. Gwennie was quite happy and demanded extra attention to be paid her. My man didn’t get to her soon enough and she turned her back to him and let out a sigh, followed by her walking to another room in disgust. Middy was happy to be all cleaned up. She should be expecting and I know her pups will see her and think, “What a pretty mom I have”.

Haggis, our male was happy and smiling when he came out of the shop, with his little bandanna on. He seems to smile and pose when he gets home from the groomers. It was a little hard to drive them all home. They kept looking out the windows and bouncing around, as if to show off their new haircuts. I felt bad I had not been able to take them sooner, yes they were past due.

I have been waiting to get a new tribal bra to go with my outfit for my belly dance performance. I have a dance coming up this Sunday, and I am not able to borrow the one I wanted to. Of course next weekend is a huge belly dance event and I have been saving money so I can get in on some discounts. Isn’t that just the way? In the mean time I will use another beaded bra as a stopgap this Sunday. I just can’t justify buying something new a week before the Raqs LA show. Since I have had to borrow a top, my getting a new one is past due.

For my writing I have been thinking about platform, something that is usually talked about in non-fiction. The idea that if you want to write and be an expert on something, you should be famous already. Otherwise no one will publish your book. You could have great tips on playing golf, but if you are not Tiger Woods, no one will buy your book.

Since there has been great change in readership and traditional publishing, its past due to think outside the box. The thing that I am thinking is, what can I do to show that I will be able to sell my book once it is published? How can I build a platform even though my project is fiction?

I think I will work on that in the coming months. A turn around on this year is past due.

Projects

We all have home projects that we try to work on from time to time. It maybe gardening, even if it means a window box or other planter on an apartment patio. There is always the cleaning of the garage.

For me it is the chickens and soon puppies. I have been cleaning out each room one by one, I still have to do my own. That is the hardest part. I need to throw out things that I don’t use or styles that have run their course, or just don’t fit. It feels great to purge my closets every once in a while.

My belly dancing has taken priority over my surfing in the last few months. In the end it all works together, if I slim down my midsection then I can be better on my board. When I go out to the beach then I can feel better about myself and feel calmed down again. The better I feel the better my writing will be. What’s funny is that even if I am in a bad mood and start to journal about it, since I am writing and that makes me happy; in the end my writing reaches a positive note.

When I get blocked in my writing or dancing, the solution is to do what I love. They are one and the same, so I stop writing what I have to and write for fun. If I am thinking too hard about my dance number and getting bogged down, I dance to another song just for fun and then go back to the number I am practicing.


All the projects help me feel a sense of accomplishment that I lack in other aspects of my life. While I have been getting some articles published, it’s my book project that hasn’t taken off as of yet. Instead of just waiting for a miracle to happen I do what I can to keep busy and be productive in my life.

I mention my projects to my friends not as a way to brag but so they are aware and I can’t just drop the ball without being accountable. It’s true my lack of attention to my surfing is going to show up the next time I go out, but so will the lightness I will feel being on the board and not being as heavy as I have been in the past. It’s still on my list of projects I am working on.

Confidence

There are times we have to keep things in confidence. There are thoughts we have to keep to ourselves. We really can’t be that frank and open with each other. No one wants to hear that they laugh like a witch and people think they are dull.

Even with close friends there are things you can’t tell each other, like your teeth are really yellow and maybe you should get them bleached. Sometimes we have to tell each other things, like your zipper is down or you have a piece of salad in-between your teeth.

Still other things can never be said. Such as, the girl you’re dating is stupid, ugly and a real witch. Nor can we say that our employer is a jerk and totally unreasonable. We can’t tell women, it’s not the outfit; it’s themselves that are fat.

When we find out things about each other we need to keep it to ourselves as well. Gossip destroys others good name. Is it really worth it to make yourself look a bit better by letting go of something you know about someone? Is it even true? Even it is do you have the right to ruin someone else? They don’t have the right to do that to you or viscera.

The fact of the matter is, it doesn’t do any of us any good to find out someone else did something wrong. It does not enrich our lives or makes our day any better. If you find out something bad does it make you a better person? Not at all, of course there are certain magazines and news programs that would die out if the learned this lesson.


Really, if we take care of our own families and our own business, isn’t that enough? If nothing else I can clean the house and feel like I did one good thing for the day. I make mistakes and I am not always good. If I can at least do one good thing, then I can sleep at night. It can help me have to confidence to face the next day.