In an effort to be an interesting person, this has led me to take on different projects; such as my belly dancing, surfing, and raising my dogs and now my chickens.
It’s true I have a lot on my plate and usually do. Why not? I don’t want to be lazy and I don’t have children to pick up from school or take to the dentist, or buy Jonas Brother’s trapper-keepers or Hanna Montana DVD’s. I do rest and watch an inordinate amount of movies. I enjoy scripted comedies instead of reality shows. I feel a duty to support my fellow writers that work hard on scripts and screenplays rather than watch d-list celebs have a group therapy session.
In an effort to not be like my mother, I have tried to listen to people rather than do all the talking or expecting to be the center of attention at all times. I have also made an effort to be supportive of the men in my life, something my mother did not do. I have also made an effort to be generous; my mother always had her hand out. I also know that we all need down time and need to be alone or with other friends and not always with me. There is also a need to tell people from time to time that you think they are fabulous, if you really feel it and I have done that.
In truth I just don’t want to be boring and when I open my mouth and have something interesting to say. I like surprising my friends by announcing I am going to get laying hens and then getting them. I want to be a doer, not a talker, like so many others.
The question that comes up is this. Is it too much and do I end up sounding like a know-it-all windbag? Is it too overwhelming for others to be around me? In my effort to not be like my mother, am I indeed turning out like her and wanting all the attention? Okay more than one question.
One thing I don’t want is for it to be a chore to be around me. I don’t want people to keep trying to find ways to shut me up. If we do this maybe she will be quiet, shut up, and settle down. Is it really that bad for me to be so passionate?
I guess it is something I need to work on. Not being over bearing and I need to dial back on telling everyone, everything that I am doing. I don’t know exactly how I am going to do that, I suppose being quite more often. Why should I come to this conclusion? I find myself by myself more and more. The ironic thing is that when I am by myself I keep busy and do interesting things so I can tell my friends later. Of course I could be just a hopeless case and it will have to be too much after all. ???
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Pathetic
All of us have to deal with ups and downs in relationships. Be it boyfriends, girlfriend’s husbands and wives. Sometimes we get to spot where we really have to look long and hard at what we are doing to ourselves and each other.
With my family, my mother and sister I got to a point where I could no longer around them since it was such a toxic relationship. After all the years of them being mean to me it was not going to get any better, so for my personal growth I had to get away from them. Some still stay around toxic parents claiming it’s to honor the family bond, but if they are horrid to you, aren’t you just being pathetic and letting yourself get hurt over and over?
The good thing about boyfriends and girlfriends, they can break up and go their separate ways and not waste time hurting each other over again. I just had a friend leave his girlfriend that was horrid to him. She was a psycho woman that broke up with him every month. Another in a long line of psycho girls, he has only ever dated one woman, his mother. Also a psycho and it always ends badly just like with her. In a way it’s what he wants since he doesn’t want to get married or have children. Will the next girl be different? Doubtful, it does make getting back together with the last one pathetic.
In a marriage you have made a vow to be together for better or for worse. With that kind of commitment, when does bad behavior and tolerating it become pathetic? People try to work it out and that is to be admired since they did take that vow. We all have to come to our own conclusion. Is it just working things out, is it being supportive or is it just getting hurt all over again? We all have to come to a point where we pull up our heads and decide not to be a victim. No one can tell us when we need to do that. It is easy to see others bad patterns and not our own.
We see our friends suffer and the only thing we can do is be supportive. We may know exactly what is going to happen next. We want to grab them before the walk off the bridge and hold their arm; only we have to let them see it themselves. It’s so hard to be there for them when we see them go head long into certain doom. All we can do is to be there for them later, when they need us.
Each one of us has to look at our lives for ourselves. As much as we want to tell our friends not to be with this or that person, we can’t tell them what to do. It is never received well if we just tell them. At least when it’s all over with we can have a good laugh at ourselves. What was that anyway? I don’t know that was all you! We are all looking for someone to care for us and that is not pathetic, it’s just the truth.
With my family, my mother and sister I got to a point where I could no longer around them since it was such a toxic relationship. After all the years of them being mean to me it was not going to get any better, so for my personal growth I had to get away from them. Some still stay around toxic parents claiming it’s to honor the family bond, but if they are horrid to you, aren’t you just being pathetic and letting yourself get hurt over and over?
The good thing about boyfriends and girlfriends, they can break up and go their separate ways and not waste time hurting each other over again. I just had a friend leave his girlfriend that was horrid to him. She was a psycho woman that broke up with him every month. Another in a long line of psycho girls, he has only ever dated one woman, his mother. Also a psycho and it always ends badly just like with her. In a way it’s what he wants since he doesn’t want to get married or have children. Will the next girl be different? Doubtful, it does make getting back together with the last one pathetic.
In a marriage you have made a vow to be together for better or for worse. With that kind of commitment, when does bad behavior and tolerating it become pathetic? People try to work it out and that is to be admired since they did take that vow. We all have to come to our own conclusion. Is it just working things out, is it being supportive or is it just getting hurt all over again? We all have to come to a point where we pull up our heads and decide not to be a victim. No one can tell us when we need to do that. It is easy to see others bad patterns and not our own.
We see our friends suffer and the only thing we can do is be supportive. We may know exactly what is going to happen next. We want to grab them before the walk off the bridge and hold their arm; only we have to let them see it themselves. It’s so hard to be there for them when we see them go head long into certain doom. All we can do is to be there for them later, when they need us.
Each one of us has to look at our lives for ourselves. As much as we want to tell our friends not to be with this or that person, we can’t tell them what to do. It is never received well if we just tell them. At least when it’s all over with we can have a good laugh at ourselves. What was that anyway? I don’t know that was all you! We are all looking for someone to care for us and that is not pathetic, it’s just the truth.
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Spring Chicks
Not raised on a farm I have not been around chickens all my life or anything. This weekend we picked up 7 baby chicks. Three road island reds and three Americana’s and one black one.
I had no idea they had such distinct personalities. The reds are very sweet and they all hang out together. The Americana’s are very independent and like to sleep alone some of the times.
There is one girl that is set to rule the roost. She is the first one to try to peck me; she seems to think it is her job to protect the others. A mother hen sort of thing, I keep telling her I am not going to hurt any of them. If she keeps being uppity, I will have no problem putting her in the boiling pot 1st. She is very pretty and that’s why I chose her, but she has so much attitude. Which is why I am thinking of calling her Juno, like the Greek goddess, that was pretty but mean.
I haven’t decided on names for all of them yet. I was thinking of naming them after breakfast foods. Like Pancakes and home fries, and bacon all the things that go with eggs. Their reason for getting these breeds of chickens was to get colored eggs, I figured if I am going through all the trouble of raising laying hens, I might was well see some nice pretty eggs as well.
In the projects that I take on, I don’t want to just feel I deserve the better things in life, I want to be one of the better things in life. I want to know about fashion and motorbikes and raising hens and dancing and surfing. The more you know about different things the more interesting conversations you can have. For my writing these experiences enhance my own life, so I can use these details in my stories. My characters will have rich lives to draw upon in their expressions. Plus it has been said, the most sophisticated thing to do is to pack it all in and leave the city for country life. What do you think all those people are doing with country homes and estates? They are raising horses, chickens or prize-winning dogs.
Also in these uncertain times we can all do something to cut expenses. Our grandparents grew their own veggies and had live stock as well. To that end I have also planted some lettuce, tomatoes, cilantro, chives, red onions, and strawberries. They didn’t have the chilies I wanted just yet at the nursery. That will have to wait. It may be winter still everywhere else, but for me it’s already spring and time to get going with my plans for summer.
I had no idea they had such distinct personalities. The reds are very sweet and they all hang out together. The Americana’s are very independent and like to sleep alone some of the times.
There is one girl that is set to rule the roost. She is the first one to try to peck me; she seems to think it is her job to protect the others. A mother hen sort of thing, I keep telling her I am not going to hurt any of them. If she keeps being uppity, I will have no problem putting her in the boiling pot 1st. She is very pretty and that’s why I chose her, but she has so much attitude. Which is why I am thinking of calling her Juno, like the Greek goddess, that was pretty but mean.
I haven’t decided on names for all of them yet. I was thinking of naming them after breakfast foods. Like Pancakes and home fries, and bacon all the things that go with eggs. Their reason for getting these breeds of chickens was to get colored eggs, I figured if I am going through all the trouble of raising laying hens, I might was well see some nice pretty eggs as well.
In the projects that I take on, I don’t want to just feel I deserve the better things in life, I want to be one of the better things in life. I want to know about fashion and motorbikes and raising hens and dancing and surfing. The more you know about different things the more interesting conversations you can have. For my writing these experiences enhance my own life, so I can use these details in my stories. My characters will have rich lives to draw upon in their expressions. Plus it has been said, the most sophisticated thing to do is to pack it all in and leave the city for country life. What do you think all those people are doing with country homes and estates? They are raising horses, chickens or prize-winning dogs.
Also in these uncertain times we can all do something to cut expenses. Our grandparents grew their own veggies and had live stock as well. To that end I have also planted some lettuce, tomatoes, cilantro, chives, red onions, and strawberries. They didn’t have the chilies I wanted just yet at the nursery. That will have to wait. It may be winter still everywhere else, but for me it’s already spring and time to get going with my plans for summer.
Thursday, February 5, 2009
Normal
For me it is normal to go to the beach, in fact if I don’t get to go and at least put my feet in the water, I get edgy. A few years ago I went on a vacation and spent so much time on dry land I had to dive into the hotel pool as soon as I could.
I have made it a habit to exercise everyday now. If I don’t it makes the whole day go wrong. It is also normal for me to go to my classes on Monday night. It used to be my norm to walk the dogs but that has passed onto my man.
It was my normal thing to host my friend for dinner every Sunday. That was for the last five years. Not doing so in the last few months has felt wrong and I don’t like it. It made me clean up more and worries about a good meal for Sunday. Now my game is all off and my house isn’t as clean as it could be. Without the idea that someone is coming over, what’s the point? Sure I clean it for myself, just not as well as I have before. The only thing that has returned to normal was helping my friend with their laundry.
This is now my 4th year of regular exercise. I have the goal weight in my mind that I want to be at on my next birthday. I only have that as a marker to give me a goal. Not that it is a big deal with this birthday than any others. It’s just where I want to be. To that end I have been making great strides.
The last year has been great, since I have been doing my belly dancing. I have noticed that all my clothes are fitting me loser. I have shed some pounds and still doing well. With upcoming performances in March, it helps me to keep up with the dancing. One reason: to be ready to perform the second: to keep up with my routine. This last Monday at my belly dance class my hip scarf fell off my hips to the ground. That has never happened, it was great and I feel like I am making progress.
Trying to keep to my normal schedule isn’t always easy and I get tired sometimes. Sometimes I get to feel like I am too scheduled and need a break. Most of the time I keep to my schedule and I get a lot done. The whole reason for all this, is that I like to do nothing and daydream and watch TV and surf the net. If I don’t have some structure I will get nothing done. That’s what’s normal for me.
I have made it a habit to exercise everyday now. If I don’t it makes the whole day go wrong. It is also normal for me to go to my classes on Monday night. It used to be my norm to walk the dogs but that has passed onto my man.
It was my normal thing to host my friend for dinner every Sunday. That was for the last five years. Not doing so in the last few months has felt wrong and I don’t like it. It made me clean up more and worries about a good meal for Sunday. Now my game is all off and my house isn’t as clean as it could be. Without the idea that someone is coming over, what’s the point? Sure I clean it for myself, just not as well as I have before. The only thing that has returned to normal was helping my friend with their laundry.
This is now my 4th year of regular exercise. I have the goal weight in my mind that I want to be at on my next birthday. I only have that as a marker to give me a goal. Not that it is a big deal with this birthday than any others. It’s just where I want to be. To that end I have been making great strides.
The last year has been great, since I have been doing my belly dancing. I have noticed that all my clothes are fitting me loser. I have shed some pounds and still doing well. With upcoming performances in March, it helps me to keep up with the dancing. One reason: to be ready to perform the second: to keep up with my routine. This last Monday at my belly dance class my hip scarf fell off my hips to the ground. That has never happened, it was great and I feel like I am making progress.
Trying to keep to my normal schedule isn’t always easy and I get tired sometimes. Sometimes I get to feel like I am too scheduled and need a break. Most of the time I keep to my schedule and I get a lot done. The whole reason for all this, is that I like to do nothing and daydream and watch TV and surf the net. If I don’t have some structure I will get nothing done. That’s what’s normal for me.
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