Keeping up

All my life I have been smaller. I was the smallest one in Kindergarten. It has never bothered me. Sure I need help getting things down off the top shelf at the super market. I have been known to climb up the shelves on occasions.

When it came to running for PE classes, I was a good sprinter, but it was harder for me to keep up with the others. They had longer strides and I never really did well in long distance running. I did run after school to keep my weight down. My mother and sister were always on me about my weight.

My sister is much taller and had a long stride. She would have been great in track and field. It was hard for me to keep up with her when we walked home from school since my legs just didn’t reach that far in one step. People that are taller soon realize, around me smaller steps. Otherwise I’m puffing to keep up with them and it takes me two steps to their one.

With my new exercise routine it’s not easy to keep up all the time. Today I will be teaching a belly dance class. I will be subbing for my teacher and that has helped me to keep going this week, I have been really tired. Yes, I take vitamins and then work out. The two together makes all the difference.

I am doing all this for myself and for my overall health. When I was working hard to please my family it worked for a while. The motivation was really fear, the fear of being called fat and looked down by them. It was too negative to keep up. In the end they were never pleased and I gave up. I would never hear my mother say I looked pretty or slim. She would always say I needed to lose more weight, even at a size 4 she said that.

At my age I have more realistic goals. I will never again be a size 4 and I only got there by hardly eating and it wasn’t healthy. If I can lose enough to be healthy I will be happy. I have old clothes I can almost get back into. That would be great. Keeping up with a healthy life style won’t always be easy, but it will be worth it in the end.