Men

For some reason in my life I have mainly had more men friends than women. During other times in my life I had more women friends and while they were so sympathetic to me and understood me so well. They could be hard to get along with and touchy and they didn’t help me grow. They helped me complain endlessly and they helped me whine and when I did grow, I ended up out growing them.

I do feel we need friend of both sexes to keep us balanced. The guy friends I have, if they are left alone will think all sort of dumb things about women. Like that women only want men with money or that all women are psychotic and crazy. Sure some are, I have seen them too, but if a man is saying all his ex-girlfriends are like that. Well that has to do with the type of woman he keeps dating. The ‘together, rational’ women aren’t hanging out at dive bars and hooking up with men at the end of the night, by the way. The 'together ones' are working hard and going to business mixers or organizing events.

The things I have learned from men, is to get over things faster and let things go and keep working at your goals. If you spend all your time crying on your girlfriend’s shoulders, yeah you are getting a sympathetic ear. You are also taking too long on this event and should have moved on by now. Girls let each other go on and on about things and that makes us hold on to it so much longer. My guy friends help me to see if I keep talking about, whatever, they are not going to keep listening and will go wash the car rather than listen to me whine. It makes me shut up and re-boot and move on to the next thing sooner that I would have on my own.


That’s one of the things I love about men, they keep moving on to the next thing. I see them being successful and then I remember. He didn’t give up and he didn’t wallow in self-pity. As a girl I don’t have to wallow either, I can take my surfboard out and relax and get over myself. I also love to see that determined look in men’s faces when you know they are set and going to go forward with their plans. I hope I can have that kind of confidence someday. Thanks guys for all your help. You have no idea; it’s so much harder for us girls. That’s why we need you, to learn from you and we do love you for it!

Dogs

The other night I had to evacuate my house due to a chemical spill. I really don’t know what that meant but it’s a safe bet on my street they were talking about a Meth lab. Maybe it was ready to blow? Who knows, at any rate I had to grab a few things and get my dogs and walk up the street.

The funny thing about my dogs is that since they are blissfully unaware of any danger they could help cheer me up. I hadn’t thought about how important they are to me. I love them, but I surprised myself when the first thing I asked the Police was, “Can I get my dogs?” I was told yes, as long as they were on a leash.

Middy my Wheaton Scottie saw a dog on the loose and got off her leash and chased the other dog. I had to yell for her to come back, it took a second for her to respond but she did come back and I got her back on her leash. We go to the corner the cops had directed us to. This is also the turning point my dogs know to start on our regular route. They kept pulling on me till I got the message they wanted their full walk. Since I had nowhere to go and they needed a walk I took them.

They had a grand time and it did give me a chance to think about things and walking is a great stress relief. That was the plan anyway. They were great till a Pit Bull came our way and then I had to hold them back from fighting. Later we were back at the corner waiting for my man to come home from work and pick us up. The pit bull was back and my two girl dogs got all worked up and fought with each other. I was mortified and told them to stop. They did but not before Gwennie got out of her collar. She was naked and walking away from me. I called her to come back and she did but wouldn’t get to close to me. No wonder, what with Middy ready to fight again. A Police officer helped me by holding on to Middy and Haggis while I got Gwennie back into her collar and leash.


In the end she only had a small scratch on her ear and we put some ointment on it. She will be fine. Other than fraying my nerves it was okay. Today they all made up and all three of my dogs were on one big dog bed together cuddled up. I love my dogs and I would rather have taken them along with me in a crisis than anything else. Misbehaving aside they are great and I had to let them work things out themselves, they always do anyway.

Faking

There are some things you just can’t fake. You can’t fake being a good driver when you are not. That was seen last weekend at a scooter rally I attended. There was one girl that was all flash and no go. Her scooter was nice and she had all the right details to make it stylish but she lacked in riding skills. People around her could hear her pop she clutch and she almost lost is a few times. All whip cream and no fruit.


Then there is surfing, you can have the board and the style and when you get in the water everyone will know you can’t surf if you let go of your board while trying to go under a wave, especially if they get hit with it. So why do people try to fake their way through things?

Maybe we have all seen too many movies where, for the sake of time, the characters take to things much too fast. Sure in a movie where things have to be paced to the audience isn’t bored, and then yes things move much more quickly. For my riding on a scooter I spent many a Sunday afternoon driving around while no one was there to get my skills up and then I did the driver’s test over and over before booking the appointment.

As for my surfing I should be better than I am now, but I don’t push myself. As it was my husband pushed me in the scooter riding and it came to be a chore. Now I haven’t ridden in a while if I go back out in a big group I am okay but not great. Not that I even try to fake that one. I know I can’t be great at everything I do and I just keep trying and going out and enjoying myself.

I have no idea why people fake that they are sick when they are not. I hate that; if you are going to be lazy just say so. There is no need to pretend to be ill when you can jolly well get up and get going. Just another faker I guess, and so silly. Give me a day when I feel good anytime!

In Doors

This last weekend was not the weekend here in So Cal to be out at the beach or outside much at all. I had been looking forward to my Sunday ritual and taking my board out. Since I have problems with allergies and with all the heavy ash in the air there was no way I was going out.


I enjoy reading and being indoors. Sure I get out and exercise, since I write I have to other wise I will just be so fat and unhealthy. I was able to get some reading done since I had to stay inside, it was better than watching the news 24 hours. When there are fires like last weekend it is hard to get away from watching. It’s good to do something else. The news casters’ really want you to obsess and watch the coverage of the fire all day long. As if you will miss something if you tune out for a second, and you can’t do that now can you?

We rented some movies. Not that I really watched them I ended up doing more reading, research for a new character. It was the mournful sight of all the smoke in the air that kept us in as well. I had friends that had to evacuate from their homes. Out of the 29 families that I knew of that had to leave none of them had their house destroyed in the fires.

Some had some damage to their backyard but not their homes. That was great and nothing short of a miracle. After all is said and done, there was tons of ash in the streets and even in my yard at home.

I did get stir crazy by Sunday night and went to a reading in LA. I just had to think about something else for a while. This week at work has been stressful and I really want to go back out in to the sea again and relax on my board for a while. It really helps me to make it through the week. I don’t want to spend all my time indoors.

Walk

The walk to my car and get my board down from the roof rack or the walk to the shore line, there are many walks that put a smile on my face. My dogs need to walk and they are their own motivation. They are so happy when they see the leashes come out. It’s difficult to put them on since they are bouncing around and going crazy in the living room.

If I am stuck with something to write I might get up from my desk and talk a walk to the store, just to get some fresh air and move around for a bit. I walk around the mall sometimes, but that is not a refreshing as walking on the sand.

In our families sometimes we walk towards them or away from them. For me I have run away from my mother and sister and most of my family. Not all of them have hurt me as much as my mother and sister have, but if they ask about them, what can I say? I don’t want to see them ever again since they are so horrid. Its one thing to have disagreements and quite another to suffer abuse. After a while I started to lose respect for myself, for staying around my mother as long as I did.

With others it’s the same thing. If you are in a spot were its not working and you still stay can you still respect yourself in the morning? I see my friends treat their boyfriends or girlfriends and I have lost respect for them. I have to walk away from watching it happen all over again, I get really tired of seeing it. As for me, there may come a time when I might have to take a walk.

When is it time to take a walk? No one can answer that but you. Some times you have to stay since it’s not the time to walk. Not because you want to stay, there may not be a lot of options open to you at the time. What do you do in the mean time? For me I don’t need to make things worse than they are and I don’t need to create a fuss all the time. I make the best of things for the time being and find ways to get out of the house. I take a short walk to the shore or other places. I encourage others to walk as well, it helps build up your stamina for a much longer walk.

In Common

I have not grown up participating in sports. My sister did and my older brother sisters did and they used to talked endlessly about it. My father was one of those horrid little league coaches that used to yell at the players and probably had much to do with their emotional scaring.

Now that I am older I am grateful for the fact that the men in my life are not glued to the TV for baseball or football. I have not had to learn to love the team my man does or anything like that. When people do talk to me about sports I can feel my eyes glaze over and I just half listen. If anything I can use it in a scene in my writing; but I could care less about the sport itself.

At parties men seem to bond over sports and teams and have something to talk about. If nothing else there is that. I had this experience over the weekend. I was at a dinner party ad found myself talking to a very bigoted man and his wife. I had nowhere to run and leave this unpleasant conversation. I did change the subject and lastly we got on to surfing. From there it was a lot nicer. It was funny that he directed most of his surfing stories to my man. He does not surf and only tried a bit when he was younger. The older man did not think for a second that I would be the surfer in the family. It took him along time to address me with the stories and I was the one that understood about him going left and a kook dropping in on him or letting go of their board when they were trying to duck-dive and hitting his board.


While it wasn’t fun to have him assume that the only another white male like himself would understand his stories. It did get us talking about something that we did have in common. If politics and race and language divide people sports and the love of the same sport and bring people a bit closer. It may seem like a boring conversation to those that don’t enjoy the sport, but at least we are talking about something nice and if we disagree on other things there is always surfing.

Passion

People say that you should follow your passion and good things will come. That you should do what you love for work and your life will be better.

I have found by watching others that if you do what you love for work you may end up hating it. There has to be other passions that don’t have to do with work. We all need things that refresh us.

For me surfing and belly dancing are just those. They build me up and they help me face the rest of what I have to do. Even though I work with a dear friend and I have a great time at my job, it’s still good to get outside and smell the salt air. To swim and have time to myself. If others did that they might feel better as well.

It is not good to stay in all the time and you can’t expect your friends to entertain you when all you want to do is sit and get drunk. It’s not a good thing to expect your mate or good friends to only be there to keep you from being bored. I work hard to have the kind of life that is fun to read about and just as fun to live and write about.

If I didn’t work hard at that I would be boring. Since I am not having kids my passion is my writing and what I want to leave behind in this world. For my readers, I have to get out there and live my life. Not because I have someone in my life, but just being me. On my own I should be interesting. If not what good am I?

Here’s to my passion of writing, one that I will follow till my hands can’t type anymore!