Restless

The last few weeks I have been off my game. I went to a writer’s conference and was too tired and needed all my attention to be on my writing. It was great and I was able to meet other writers, some of them fellow surfers and on fellow belly dancer.

Last week I wasn’t feeling good and didn’t get out on Sunday. Of course the weekend I didn’t go out and it was going off in Huntington! These are not excuses but the reasons I was not out. After all that and a fender bender that has my beetle in the body shop, I can say I am really getting restless.

I need to feel the water around my hands and my feet in the cold water. I need to get back out there. Yes I am going tomorrow, so I don’t have to whine too much. I don’t even care if the waves are bad or small and it doesn’t seem like the next few days will be great but I am still going out on Friday and Sunday.

My friends that surf always want me to go with them and they keep asking me when I go out so they can join me. I really am reluctant to give up the time I have alone to be with them. I know it’s selfish, but I have to have time when I am not doing things for others and not entertaining people.

In my normal day I don’t have to talk all the time and I get time to write, like right now. I do have to run around and do things for my boss and good friend. I cook and clean the house and take care of my dogs. Even to get some time at home by myself takes effort. I have to send the dogs outside and make sure other things are done before I can just pull out a book and read alone.

The time I have alone is so valuable to me I really fight for it tooth and nail. It’s such a good thing I don’t have kids. It would be lonely for them to have a mom that needs to be alone before dealing with them.

For all my complaining right now, I know it’s just that I’m restless and I need to get out there. I will feel so much better after I go into the water. :-)